I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize