If that was your dad, he is hot
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
