google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
