i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
