he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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