that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
