You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
