1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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