We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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