You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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