I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
