I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
