I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
