i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
