things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
