used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We left an ass print on the piano.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
