fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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