we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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