You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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