Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
