I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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