you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
