I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
