I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize