Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
