Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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