You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
