this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
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