dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
only if we run a train.
done.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
