it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize