So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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