Where did you get a picture of my penis
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Shame - the story of my life.
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