forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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