My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
