dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
