Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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