redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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