i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
