I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
