He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Boobs are out for the taking
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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