So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
