I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
