Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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