Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just googled if crying burns calories
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
