hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
