Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize