I must be too annoying 4 u.
I love black thongs
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
