I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
