my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
