good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
