The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
