I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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