Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize