I puked a lego.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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