I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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