We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
