Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
