I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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