Christians are straight up FREAKS
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
