would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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