forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
